Day 19

Photo by Caleb Jones on Unsplash

Discuss your first love.

In my case, my first love and my true love are not the same person.

I cared deeply for someone that initially liked me when we first met but over time lost interest. We were really close friends for years and told each other everything, (or so I thought). I found out afterwards that he wasn’t completely open about himself. Maybe it was to spare me grief, because he didn’t like hearing that I was sad about the things he had gone through and how he was feeling about life. I wanted to fix his problems and be there for him. He didn’t want to drag me down, so he told me that I deserved better.

At the time, it was so upsetting and I was heartbroken. I was depressed for a long time. It made me angry that someone could turn away a good thing for fear of failure. Failure in relationships was the only thing he had known, and he couldn’t see how to break the cycle. But I realized over time that we are not meant to be other people’s therapists. It’s not fair for someone in a relationship to rely on the other person for happiness. It will suck out all of the joy and make it a burden. Being in a relationship might hide issues for a time but it doesn’t fix them.

From the beginning, Angel’s attitude toward love was so refreshing. If I would have left him for whatever reason, he told me he would have been fine. It’s not that he didn’t care, it’s just that he had enough confidence in himself to know that he didn’t have to force something that shouldn’t be. It’s so important to have a healthy view towards love since it affects your whole life. I have learned the beauty of love that is reciprocated and flows freely. I know what it should be and what it shouldn’t be like. Whenever I see a friend going down the dark path that I was on before, I feel that I have to share my experience because I don’t want them to go through something similar. Like I have said before, love shouldn’t be complicated.

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